Initial Script outline

Scene 1: Crazy Redneck

The scene will open in a rundown dusty garage. There will be old paintings and boards along the walls. A 42inch TV set will be at the very front. The set will have graffiti on it. The purpose of the graffiti is to explain the rednecks hate of urban art. The backdrop has old paintings showing his appreciation of renaissance art. There will be a seat in front of the TV set, and a coffee table with a beer ontop.

Redneck appears on seat. Remains seated for a while.

Starts to drink and twitch.

Starts cheering and chanting at the TV as if there were a football game going on.

Random girl steps into the garage. She is pale skinned, and she watches the man as he chants.

Man keeps drinking.

Starts getting aggravated and throws down his hat.

He begins to cry and suddenly gets a serious face and stares at the TV.

He gets up, trashes the TV, breaking it apart.

He sits back down, and cheers and claps.

The character cries. He then realizes someone is watching(Not the girl, but the viewer) and turns towards the camera.

End scene1

Scene2: Penis Attack

Scene opens up with paintings with penises and seductive characters. There will be trashed desktops with porn magazines, and cables on the floor.

The character will be in a ballet outfit and sweating, breathing in and out heavily. Ballet is what she does to keep her mind occupied from what’s bothering her.

-She turns and looks at the living room area and leaps into dance.

-She continues to dance and fatigue starts to set in as she breathes in and out more heavily.

-She stops and bends to catch her breath.

-A penis comes in from the side of the frame and touches her cheek. She backs away and bumps into another penis.

-She falls down.

-The penises bombard her.

End scene2

Scene3:Blood bath

Bathroom: Messy walls, writing on mirror, with feces. Toilet full of toilet paper.

-Scene opens up with a tub full of blood.

-A few seconds in, a black male emerges from the pool of blood and sits in the tub.

-He looks around with wide open eyes and sniffs his arms one by one.

-He gets out of the tub, he staggers out to the mirror.

-He wipes his hands over the writings on the mirror, he looks at his hand and breaks down into tears.

-He hits the mirror over and over again in attempt to break it.

-He staggers out of the frame.

End scene3

Scene4:Fishbowl

Modern household. Tidy dining room, well arranged seats and table.

Man and wife stare at fishbowl.

Their children play with their toys on the same table.

End scene4

Scene5:BackYard

The scene opens up at a backyard full of people walking into each other like insects panicking. The people are all in make up. They will look pale and brainless.

They will all make a humming noise.

End scene5

Scene6

The scene opens with a messy kitchen, dirty dishes all over the floor and trash stacking up on trashcan. Food stains on the cooker and overflow of dirty water in the sink.

-Character comes out from room and starts licking dirty dishes to clean them up.

-His hands are tied behind his back.

-He will have make up that shows facial injuries

-He will be anxiously moving about, hoping up and down.

-He will be shouting ‘I need to clean it before she comes back’

The camera pans back to the living room where the ballet dancer will still be dancing.

End scene

Pitch

Elevator line: What it feels like to experience a dream.

Theme: The theme is fear.

This theme attempts to reach into human psychology and display just how extremely bizarre it can get. It is also an attempt to display different people’s ideas of fear.

It will be a montage of different dreams. Each individual will describe his or her dream to us in the full detail and we will remake it and shoot what happened in the dream.

After this we will put them together in an order that will best highlight the theme of fear and bizarreness.

Character: The environments we will use are a strong reflection of what the  different dream’s are about.

Environment1: Messy apartment. Paintings, trashed desktops, cables. The apartment will be untidy and spacious at the same time.

It will be shot indoors with a pale blue tone to it. (cold)

The character will be in a ballet outfit and sweating, breathing in and out heavily.

Environment2: Dusty Garage. The space will have a huge TV set with graffiti on it. There will be a seat and a coffee table with beer on it. A character(redneck) will be seated staring into the tv acting like he is watching a football game.

Indoors, with a warm lighting and heavy contrast.

The character will be dressed up in old worn out clothes.

Environment3:Bathroom: Messy walls, writing on mirror, with feces. Toilet full of toilet paper. African American character laying in bathtub full of blood. He emerges from the bloody tub and walks out.

Indoors with dim white lighting.

The character will be half naked.

Environment4: Backyard. Brainless characters walking around the area, bumping into each other like confused insects.

Environment5: Dining room. Character staring at fishbowl. Morning. He will be fully dressed up in a suit for work.

Environment6: Messy kitchen, dirty dishes all over the floor and trash stacking up on trashcan. Food stains on the cooker and overflow of dirty water in the sink.

Character comes out from room and starts licking dirty dishes to clean them up. His hands are tied behind his back.

He will have make up that shows facial injuries.

Selfcritique

A) Impact and Intent- how did you want to affect your audience?

I wanted them to know that there can be many separate sides to arguments.

I wanted them to leave the film with different ideas as to what the ending was.

1. On a scale of 1-10, what was the story's overall impact? 8

2. What did the story leave you thinking?

It left me thinking that a lot more coverage should have been based on the faces. The acting wasn't fully appreciated.

3. What did it leave you feeling? 

It left me feeling that i CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER now that I got that experience. I wish I could shoot it again and make the proper revisions, and it would be a fully successful film.

4. Discuss the source of the main idea that you started with and its importance to you.

 The source was basically a narrative with a single character struggling with an internal conflict. It was very interesting to deal with how people respond to her and how she handles them. It was also based around a lot of Isolation and I've always wanted to portray emotion through isolated characters.

5.Discuss the Theme or premise of the piece as you discovered it after finishing the film.

The theme transformed into moving on, and it was centered on that more than it was on the conflict that she was having.

B) Clarity of Tension/Main Conflict

1. How clear was the story? Could you see all the scenes equally clearly in my mind's eye, or were some hazy?

The story was definitely not as clear as it should have been because there were some important details that didn't make it to the film due to lack of good enough coverage. So some scenes were hazy, but the main idea of the story was pretty clear.

2. What parts could you easily and pleasurably retell, and what parts are difficult to recall?

I would easilly retell the scenes with the signs and her connection to them and the story.

I would also have her reading a better suited book, and neatly arrange her closet.

Its difficult to recal the whisper scene that we initially wanted in there.

C) Potential

1. Does the story feel complete?

Yes. It stands alright in its own, but there is no doubt that it could have been better with some better footage and directing in acting.

2. On a scale of 1-10, rate each scene. Are they all functioning to full potential?

Scene1: Alarmclock scene: Showing her routine was pretty successful, only that there were some elements in the story that did not match up to her character and therefore felt uncontrolled e.g. untidy closet.

Scene2: Interior: Showing how lonely she was, it worked out pretty well because we had the ring as a device. Problem is that she didn't seem as lonely as she did sad. And the scene with the mother and child was not as effective as we'd hoped.

Scene3: Picketing: Very successful. The scene portrayed all the picketers out in the street with the signs and it read well to the viewers and myself. plus the location was really appropriate.

Scene4: Interior Final: The self realization also read pretty clearly, she is seen making her hair and for the first time having breakfast, changing up her hair. People know there is something different about her, but they are not sure what exactly it is, which is a good thing.

3. Which elements were strong, which were weak?

Strong elements are the locations. Most of the actors. Weak elements are that there are not enough close up shots. and not enough coverage.

D) Feedback-- Discuss “What you want to learn to do better.”

The piece is working in that there is enough in there to make it a successful first whole narrative. It has some good shots in there and the acting is pretty good.

The downside is the coverage was not enough, and the directing was not good enough and neither was the shooting. We could have gotten a whole lot more interesting shots.

All of which I now i can do better in the next film.

Final Edit

It was a good experience to have put everything together. It was time consuming, at first but after getting the hang of it, things flowed a lot better. I look forward to the next shoot mostly because I can get all the coverage I now know I'll need and make a more effective overall piece. Again the experience was amazing and I learned a whole lot from it.